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Anxiously trusting

Hey friend. I hope you are doing well. It’s been some time since I sat down to write here. I’d love to connect with you via the comment section or on Instagram, feel free to reach out! (@therenewpodcast)

Life has been challenging for me lately. There has been a lot of good things, new things, exciting things, and at the same time, it’s been a pressing season. There are a lot of questions and worries swirling around in my heart. It has been hard to feel settled, feel connected, feel calm.

I graduated from college this past May and then moved back in with my family. I love my family dearly, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have our challenges and conflicts. As someone who is definitely conflict avoidant, this has been difficult. In many ways, right now I am grieving. Grieving an unexpected loss about a month ago that has left me with complex feelings. Grieving that my family relationships aren’t how they used to be. Grieving the ways that anxiety has made ripples in my life.

Grief is not easy, and it sure isn’t a straight path from point A to point B. It’s complicated, multi-faceted, and at times, brings a lot of uncertainty.

I try to remind myself over and over that I am not my feelings. Yes, my feelings are an important part of who I am, but they are not ALL of who I am. They are messengers, but they aren’t the end all be all. And for me, many times I allow them to pull me in a direction that I don’t want to go.

I hope that is an encouragement to you if you are having a hard time navigating difficult emotions. Your emotions are valuable. Your emotions are meant to be recognized and worked through. But they aren’t the sum of who you are as a person. You are beloved, no matter what kind of messages your emotions or thoughts might be bombarding you with.

I am learning to change my perspective on pressing seasons, on worry, on messy emotions. I am remembering that Jesus walked through the hard, through the messy, through the pains of life, and He is walking with us through our own struggles, too. That abiding in Christ doesn’t always mean that we won’t at times feel stuck, confused, or fearful. But that He is WITH us in the hard.

I am faced with some really hard decisions right now, and as anxious as that makes me, I rest in the fact that I know the one directing my steps. He has already paved the way. He has already laid the path forward. And He is asking me to trust Him.

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